Sydney in friggin 3.5 hours

This post is dedicated to my good friend Dean Bumbaca, for letting me stay in philly awhile back, and introduce me to the sandwich called the SCHMITTER. Now I can go to hell quicker than i would have. (Il post a picture of a schmitter right now!) Fucking heart attack waiting to happen right there...But Philly is a NICE time.









Now that Ive pretty much done jack shit this break excpet for masterbate, pick my nose, and hate on matt Groth in my sleep, its time for me to head to Australia on 24 hours of air and make shit happen. Well Il do a top 5, real quick of Things I did this break. if you dont agree with me, suck a dick, real, LONG, and hard..preferably circumsized...and bigger than Darren Brown's.







Top 5 things I did this break:



1. Saw Metallica



-me and my main man, Dave Leone, went to go see them a couple of Sunday's ago. BOY, lemme tell you, they put on a rockin show. Played mostly new album stuff, but finished with Seek and Destroy, damn that shit was nice.



2. Went to Boston



-Boston is Ill, excpet for the fucking roads which suck more dick than a mexican porn star after taking a hit of ex, then a speed (damn, i gotta see this). Me and my other main man, Nick Reale took boston by force, hitting bars, knocking down street signs, pissed on Fenway (well I wish), and of course went to this awesome sneak shop called Bodega. Oh man...the bodega. Bodega is the illest shit since Remmington Steel in the mid 1980's with Pierce Brosnan...Walking into that store almost gave me a fucking hard on. first, its like a small noodle shop, with no signs marking the place. And then BAM, this coca-cola machine slides open to reveal the coolest store ive ever seen. I bought a sick bulls hat..So thanks Bodega, you rock my world.





3. Went to Lehigh


-Strange place this one is. Its on a fucking mountain, but it was a grand time. Alot of booze, MAJOR fratting, and definitly a lot of pretty girls. So thanks to the crew who I went with, Liam, Rubes, Russo, Eddie, and Pete. It was a solid time overall, but I like Wisconsin better. At least its not on a hilltop where I feel like i could look like Paris Hilton after a good 5 minute walk. The quote of the weekend: "Lehigh, where college kids go to die"-myself





4. Went to Illadelphia


-Thanks to Dean, Rachel Miller, and Jillian, Illadelph was quite an experience to behold. Bumbaca kept saying the word 'John" for everything. I didnt understand what it meant, and of course I asked the proverbial question if Dean made up his nicknames, and the answer was of course a yes...but we knew that shit already, fucking crazy sauce....The other sweet part was of course the sandwich, called the Schmitter, which if eaten many times I would loook a cross between Geoff Gerschke and a Turd. Kudos to the bar that has the balls to call themselves Tattooed Mom





5. Atlantic City- You know shits good, when you can come with 140 and leave with 400, the first time ever to a casino. Thanks Lady Luck, I stole your fucking cash.





DAMN SON, Its late, Im leaving in two hours, Il prolly do top 5 best comedians of all time next time or something sweet...still figuring it out.






Thats it for now, PEACE!