1983 Nissan Bluebird

This post is dedicated to my new car (well mine, Trevors, Eli's and Oliver's car), the 1983 Nissan Bluebird, with 202,000 kilometers on it. The door handle was ripped off of it today by the dude at the dealership, and the 1000 Australian dollar car will definately get us to the grocery store and back. But the best part I guess, is that when I told the dude up front if he had a map, and his reply was, "what else do you want??" Eli, replied, "a blow job". Did I mention its yellow?

Australia is without a doubt nuts. Ive been drunk for literally a week straight, and I bought a new car today. Classes start tomorrow, so thats a good thing since I wont go to them or Il go to them and fall asleep...(Crane would be proud). But this past weekend, we went surfing in Narrabeen. Dude, surfing is DAMN near impossible. You gotta be a fucking psycho to be good at that shit. Our instructors were retarded, and I felt it was man v.s. wild. Maybe next time il go surfing in a shark costume to scare away some other cocksuckers Ive been chillin with. But hey, tis in a day's work.

Wish me luck for class, but first, a picture of my new ride, appropriately named, "the batmobile". THis is the first thing ive actually owned. SO I can bequeath it to someone when I die. "in my will, I name the new benefactor of this car, Lani Weiss." Im not telling her about this car, so if she finds out, Il either be disowned or a permanent resident of Australia.

I pity this man, but itl be me in a lil while. Il get a real picture with me cruisin with a black and mild in it real shortly.

Lastly, THANK GOD the Bulls traded away Nocioni, that fucking big stiff is ugly, douchy, Croatian, and more importantly ate up more salary cap than Allan Houston. Nuff Said.

Im off frolicking,

Peace

Sydney in friggin 3.5 hours

This post is dedicated to my good friend Dean Bumbaca, for letting me stay in philly awhile back, and introduce me to the sandwich called the SCHMITTER. Now I can go to hell quicker than i would have. (Il post a picture of a schmitter right now!) Fucking heart attack waiting to happen right there...But Philly is a NICE time.









Now that Ive pretty much done jack shit this break excpet for masterbate, pick my nose, and hate on matt Groth in my sleep, its time for me to head to Australia on 24 hours of air and make shit happen. Well Il do a top 5, real quick of Things I did this break. if you dont agree with me, suck a dick, real, LONG, and hard..preferably circumsized...and bigger than Darren Brown's.







Top 5 things I did this break:



1. Saw Metallica



-me and my main man, Dave Leone, went to go see them a couple of Sunday's ago. BOY, lemme tell you, they put on a rockin show. Played mostly new album stuff, but finished with Seek and Destroy, damn that shit was nice.



2. Went to Boston



-Boston is Ill, excpet for the fucking roads which suck more dick than a mexican porn star after taking a hit of ex, then a speed (damn, i gotta see this). Me and my other main man, Nick Reale took boston by force, hitting bars, knocking down street signs, pissed on Fenway (well I wish), and of course went to this awesome sneak shop called Bodega. Oh man...the bodega. Bodega is the illest shit since Remmington Steel in the mid 1980's with Pierce Brosnan...Walking into that store almost gave me a fucking hard on. first, its like a small noodle shop, with no signs marking the place. And then BAM, this coca-cola machine slides open to reveal the coolest store ive ever seen. I bought a sick bulls hat..So thanks Bodega, you rock my world.





3. Went to Lehigh


-Strange place this one is. Its on a fucking mountain, but it was a grand time. Alot of booze, MAJOR fratting, and definitly a lot of pretty girls. So thanks to the crew who I went with, Liam, Rubes, Russo, Eddie, and Pete. It was a solid time overall, but I like Wisconsin better. At least its not on a hilltop where I feel like i could look like Paris Hilton after a good 5 minute walk. The quote of the weekend: "Lehigh, where college kids go to die"-myself





4. Went to Illadelphia


-Thanks to Dean, Rachel Miller, and Jillian, Illadelph was quite an experience to behold. Bumbaca kept saying the word 'John" for everything. I didnt understand what it meant, and of course I asked the proverbial question if Dean made up his nicknames, and the answer was of course a yes...but we knew that shit already, fucking crazy sauce....The other sweet part was of course the sandwich, called the Schmitter, which if eaten many times I would loook a cross between Geoff Gerschke and a Turd. Kudos to the bar that has the balls to call themselves Tattooed Mom





5. Atlantic City- You know shits good, when you can come with 140 and leave with 400, the first time ever to a casino. Thanks Lady Luck, I stole your fucking cash.





DAMN SON, Its late, Im leaving in two hours, Il prolly do top 5 best comedians of all time next time or something sweet...still figuring it out.






Thats it for now, PEACE!

Welcome, Wilkomen, First Damn Post

So to get things started, a happy new year to everyone out there, I am sure people were getting sloppy at wherever you were. My first post is dedicated to Ryan Dwyer, Congratulations on turning 43 years old next month, you will soon be able to have your AARP card. At least you got something to look forward to Phantastic.

Today, I went to the Nets game with my friend Carrie and it was chill, but damn has basketball really gone down hill or what?? The Sacramento Kings, who by the way have become that team that have really started to love becuase NO ONE likes the Kings. How cna you NOT like a team that used to not only have Vlade "Im the stiffest human being ever" Divac and Mitch "NBA Jam Powerhouse" Ritchmond on it. I mean seriously.

Well of course the Nets, with Yi "I Suck Alot" Jianlian, and Vince "What's the Score again?" Carter took control over the Kings. I bet you cant even name two players who play for that team. Which is why I'm going out the first chance I get and buying a sacrmento kings jersey, like oldschool 1980's with Mitch Richmond on it, to show my appreciation. THe jersey will look like this:

Personally, I think this is a sick SICK jersey. If you do not agree...well fuck you. It is 300 dollars, but I still love it. Currently, the Kings have this kid named Kevin Martin. He netted a whopping 36 points on the nets, and he was literally Lighting the floor up the way I used to back in the mid 1990's. My jumper was as sliky smooth as a baby's bottom, or close. But now Im a bonafide scrub. Speaking of Bonafide scrubs, I gotta post some Steven A. Smith Youtube Videos. Well Il post the link. The First one, is Steven A. Smith RIPPING Apart Kwame Brown and the other is him in a radio show rippin on some Jose Reyes lover. Well of course Jose Reyes, is a fucking clown, who led the worthless Mets, who as Jim Mora approprately says, "Playoffs? Playoffs? How can you talk about playoffs, we can't fucking win a game!!" No Playoffs this year donkey pissers.

This is Smith ripping apart Kwame Brown in the Pau Gasol trade:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8j9nsqv9m6M

This is Smith Destroying this poor fan....boo yah bitch!:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYftKfvcT-U

Just pure craziness..The guy is nuts. If I was that brave to talk that kind of trash, Id be god. But Im not, and Im writing a damn blog where I can just make fun of people.

But im fucking tired, and Im going to pass out, but the last thing I gotta do is square away what Im gunna name my blog. So I got four options. If you like anyone of them, lemme know. Il choose that as my title.

So here goes:

1.Stacking Cheese, and Selling Ki's: The impeccable life re-telling of Zach Weiss

2.Well...Just Because......Im Out Here Grindin'

3.Australia Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet

4.Im That Jew With that Kangaroo: Life in Australia.

SO lemme know, if you gotta a different idea, tell me.

LATER!